red eyes

your eyes were so red
’cause you like to blow trees.
the girl in the bathroom
pukes the sadness out of her,
while I look at you,
begging you to blow me too
just like one of your trees,
but you fell asleep.

the night isn’t young,
it feels very old with you.
stars disappear,
probably ’cause you closed your eyes.
they say that’s what happens
when the morning comes,
but I don’t believe it.

I try to close my eyes too,
’cause nothing makes sense anymore.

the girl in the bathroom is still puking
the sadness out of her,
and I’m still begging for you to blow me,
until your eyes get red,
but I fall asleep instead.

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something about guys and myself

I still remember,
That handsome guy, back in third grade.
The way he used to sit close to me,
And always ask for my help.
The way he used to blabber about all those
Star wars movies
And the way I used to pretend I understood all of it.
I still remember his ocean eyes,
And wrinkled smile.
I even remember the funny way I used to love
Going to school, only for him.

Later on,
I recall the dream.
The way I used to feel when I was near him,
Like the whole world was mine.
How I even thought of forever,
But this was too absurd to even be called love.

When I think of
the unbearable hot days,
How it looked like all the birds and plants are dead,
Or at least dying,
The stranger guy with his melancholic voice,
Comes into my mind.
His stories about the love of his life,
How he likes his sandwiches in the morning,
His eggs,
His coffee.
Even though I never asked.
2 days and 2 nights,
With lots of wine.
That’s all I ever got.

I don’t need to remember this last one,
He still appears in front of me sometimes.
The furious sex,
The insane poems
All about ANGELS, GODS, yes all in upper case.
He was the lover of everyone
And no one.
I never believed in GOD but listening to him
I wasn’t so sure.
I think I loved him, like the way you can love
Someone you never touch.
Maybe I would still be loving him,
If I didn’t get tired of all the games we played.

Now I look at myself,
In dirty, unwashed for three months, mirrors
Most of the times I don’t know myself,
Most of the times I wonder why the hell
Do mirrors exist?
And I break all of them.
I feel better when everything is in disorder.
But sometimes,
Oh those rare times,
In those rain afternoons,
Where I settle for a cup of coffee,
I don’t need mirrors to see
myself.
I don’t need strangers,
And arms of one love
To tell me I’m beautiful.
Even though it is much pleasant to hear your name
Whispered in the dark
By voices you don’t recognize in the morning,
It is pleasant too,
To drink your coffee,
Not give a fuck about the world,
And for the first time ever,
To feel love.
Love for your coffee,
And your own soul.

and I wonder–

all the great disputes,
fuck you up,
all your inner demons
chase you in dreams.

you tell me you’re always
chasing cars,
or buses,
sometimes even climbing mountains,
and I wonder—
if you’re chasing cars,
why you always crash in the same one?
why would you crash in me,
ride me like you’re trying to win the race,
an then kiss me after you collect your price,
suck all the liquid there’s left in my mouth,
and then leave?

nonsense

You’re there
on the stairs,
Of my suspended mind.
You’re there,
In front of
the broken coffee machine
(that always makes a fuzzy noise)
Of the last sip of coffee
I will ever have.
You’re there,
At the tip of the last cigarette I will
Ever burn.

Which we both know it’s a lie.
I will have endless sips of coffee
And burn every last cigarette,
On every stair,
Of every floor,
Of every house.
Just so you
Could be there.

the two lovers

(a drop of rain, talking to its lover about escaping from a bus window):

Come my love,
we don’t have much time,
come my love and rain with me.
This greedy land
of hypocrite capitalists
needs us.

Come my love,
we don’t have much time,
until sun comes out
and evaporates us.

Come my love,
I’ve traveled from far away,
to come to you,
on this dirty bus window.
Only so my drop
would meet yours.

Come my love,
let us ask help from the seas,
or the sweet rivers.
They’ll hide us from the sun.
Let us go there,
we don’t belong here.

Come my love,
don’t let the eyes of these
travelers hypnotize you.
Don’t let their tears
fool you.

Come,
or we’ll disappear under the wheels.

Purple

It wasn’t until he said his favorite colour was purple
That I saw it, breathed it, dreamed it, bathed in it,
Swam in it, drifted off in lilac seas of it

Worlds of endless purple, the velvet of pooling night,
the purple of albinism eyes and purple of skies,
purple of seastars (the one I woke up in my dream) to you in a serene navy
the walls, this heart, suddenly lilac.

I never thought much about it before,
But now I live in it, live for it,
And can see no other colour (you)

Thunderbolts sent from Zeus
and all the other gods above,
while the skies and storms
lay in his mouth of grace.
My legs and arms become electrified,
revived,
and oh so alive.

My burning soul starts laying
in the Elysium fields
or in Tartarus fires,
I could never really know the difference.
But I knew,
that feeling had no place in Earth.
Only in the skies upon,
or in the grounds below.

He was no Dionysus,
or any kind of Baccush,
but I felt like
I was drinking from the Cup of Nestor,
when he kissed the wester of me.
Then he breathes spring in my back,
and every desert in me,
becomes a garden of Eden,
and then
all’s lost.
There’s no reason,
or season.

I robed the amber light
in his eyes,
but oh,
I was no Prometheus
to give it away.
I kept it safe,
somewhere far away.

I hid it there, in the violet beds
of Antheia,
or in the sunny chest of Amphitrite
begging to have one last sight,
of that bright bite of light.

?!

The silence took you,
word by word.

First,
It took the consonants,
so
all I could hear,
was you screaming.

AAAA!
U!
Y?

Then it took the vowels,
so
all I could see
were your attempts
to scream.

It undressed
the whole orchestra,
every melody you had.

When the heartbeats
were the only sound
left,
it took your body,
your heart.
That bloody heart!

Should I too,
rip my ears out,
tear my eyes apart?
Now that,
Everything I hear,
everything I see returns
to the
silence…

Or should I just wait,
for it to take me too?!

I wait

I’m slowly waiting for the wind to take me,
but all it takes are these lightweight leaves.
it flies them, all over town,
then again it sends them back to me,
near my little feet.

I’m slowly waiting for the snow to dissolve me,
but all it dissolves are these blue flowers,
growing into my lungs.
It brought them death so many times,
only for them to reincarnate again.

I’m slowly waiting for the rain
to fall into me,
to cleanse me,
but it only falls into my yellow umbrella,
rapidly.

The time screams,
For I have been waiting too long.

The sun tries to hide,
For I have been ignoring him too long.

I laugh,
madly,
subconsciously.

And finally,
let the sun wrap its arms around me.

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